Trevor's No Vaseline Post

October 3, 2017

 

As some of you may know, last night on episode 350 of the podcast I was wrongly attacked by my second favorite boss of the show, Ruthless Ruther. This blog I'm writing right now is going to be the final straw that breaks this arguments back; just like Avril tackling Romo-this must be how Nas felt penning Ether. 

 

Now lets get the ball rolling and put everything into perspective first. It was a beautiful, crisp night in Venice, with the temperature hovering around 65 degrees. Before departing Van Nuys to make my journey towards Venice, I hopped out of the shower, threw on some baggy basketball shorts to accompany my loose fitting long sleeve t-shirt and feeling pretty excited about Denver's win over the divisional Raiders, I added my Broncos beanie to complete my ensamble. Perfect attire for as, Joey No Chill described it, "a cool October night." The loose longsleeve kept my average sized arms just warm enough from the beach breeze, but not hot enough to where I had to roll them up. It was not nearly cold enough to go full-blown winter mode and add sweats instead of the basketball shorts. The Broncos beanie kept my body at a perfect happy-medium, even keeled temperature. All I know is that Gianni Versace himself was looking down at me saying, "Now that's a foolproof outfit."

 

Fast forward to three quarters of the way through the podcast and my favorite boss, Mr. Praino, decided to Archduke Franz Ferdinand himself a Savagetown War I, which pitted myself against Ol' Denty. Mr. Praino had made the first comment about my very comfortable, very appropriate for the goddamn Smut Shack, slippers. What transpired was Mussolini Ruther adding to the hatefulness by suggesting I was soft for wearing (or technically 'bringing' because it was sitting on the table at the time) a beanie when it was "not that cold," according to him. 

 

Now, this is the same muthafucka (shoutout Def Comedy Jam) sitting there bashing me, who is wearing SWEATPANTS!! As I sit there in shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt that is as thick as Taylor Swift, this dirtBAG wants to attack me for being a wimp, while wearing sweats that look like he's going to spend a month on Mount Everest. As I valiantly defended my honor by pointing out we were literally in the same position of attire, both with long articles of clothing draping over different parts of our bodies, he ignorantly ignored all of those FACTS and declared victory of the battle. But on the contrary Mr. so-called tough guy 'Sheriff'... 

Your argument held no water then, and continues even now to struggle to support any defense. According to you, back in your home state of wasteland Ohio you only wear a beanie when it is 20 degrees outside. So then let's just guesstimate and say you break out the sweat pants back home when it gets to about 40 degrees? Then that would mean at a brisk 65 degrees last night, there should have been no reason whatsoever for you to be wearing your sweats-that temperature is 'warm' in your books. As I confronted you about this on the show, your response was, "It's comfortable." Well guess what muthafucka, my mafucking beanie was comfortable at the time too! 

 

Mr. Praino and myself have to beg him every recording to actually PUT ON clothes. And now you got the nerve to attack me because I wore a comfy beanie to go along with my baggy clothes? Well then, I only have a couple of more things to say...

 

Who shot ya?

Seperate the weak from the obsolete
Hard to creep them Mildred streets
It's on brotha, fuck all that bickering beef 

I can hear sweat trickling down your cheek
Your heartbeat sound like Sasquatch feet
Thundering, shaking the concrete

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